Remembering

I remember how it was the Lord that brought me to Oceanside, I remember it was the Lord that provided me with my job, I remember it was the Lord that restored my health when I was near death....I remember it was the Lord that gave me beautiful children...I remember it was the Lord that provided for all my needs, even before I knew I had them....I remember His miracles, I remember His kindness, I remember His love....I remember that He knows me, and He knows my heart's desires....I remember He loves me and I am His...I remember the family He gave me....I remember the friends He has blessed me with....I remember His love. Now, as I face decisions, as I seek direction, when I feel things are hopeless and I don't know the way....I remember and I am no longer afraid. The Lord is my rock and my shield. He will provide the way. He will provide the means. He is the answer. I have no need to fear or doubt. I remember that I have been redeemed, forgiven and given a new life. I remember that I am a new creation, the old is gone. I remember and I am thankful. I look forward to tomorrow because the Lord is my rock and my salvation. I remember, I smile, I take on tomorrow, with assurance. I am confident because I remember.

Heart Sick

I cannot even begin to describe how heartsick I am for leaving my studio at the beach. I regret that I wanted more and that I even thought that with sacrifice I could attain it. The Clementine studio was a gift from God and with very very, deep and sorrowful regret I am sorry I gave up the very thing I loved to attain financial security, which, I may add, has alluded me. I beg for God's mercy to bring me back. Even with a small closet.  It was a place I loved. If I could only regain what I had. Lord, please have mercy. Forgive me. I rest in YOU. Pamela

Reassessing needs

I am reassessing my budget and my daily/monthly needs. To be honest, I don't know how I have survived this long. I always put the immediate needs before the long term needs. I would go without food for a new pair of shoes. STUPID!!!! Now I see that I wasn't taking care of my shelter, transportation, food, and clothing. The very things I need to survive I was sacrificing to the immediate wants. STUPID!!!!! It is time to look at things differently. God help me PLease! Show me truth and please get me back to Oceanside. Love Pamela

New Year, New Start, Rest and lucky 13

Ahhh, it is a New Year and I finally have a couple of days off of work. Yeah!!! But they are not to be spent in rest.... I've had some major financial battles and my car just broke down. Estimated charges around $600.00. Cheaper than a new car but, yeeeeouch! Seriously, its okay.  Dave Ramsey said to take care of your major 4 walls, which are: food, clothing, shelter and transportation first. So I'm a taking care of the transport part. Even though I had the day off I've been doing financial paper work, cleaning, organizing, and creating my own envelope system that works while I'm flying. So now I am exhausted. So, nighty night. I will update later......zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Attacking Debt

I started Dave Ramsey's financial peace course last March. It convinced me to make sacrifices to get out of all this debt I had gotten myself into. I made great strides and progress then got distracted and lost my focus and motivation. UGH! Now I am facing a law suit by one of the creditors I haven't paid off yet. So it's time to get serious and destroy, demolish and obliterate these debts. Today starts a new day. Time to get crazy mad about this and get it done. This will be a chronicle of this quest I am on.... Let the games begin.

Change on the Horizon

My beautiful baby is getting married....and the time is drawing near for Africa. Two joyous occasions full of hope, wonder, excitement, glad expectations and the certainty of an unknown future. Wow, I stand in awe amazed at what God is doing. I watch His orchestration of events and join the dance, celebrating the abundant life He promised and gives. I am treasuring each and every moment in my heart. God is good, He is good, He is amazingly good.

I saw the movie "The Help" yesterday and loved it. It's not something I usually do on my overnights but since I was stuck in Las Vegas for 24 hrs it was an enjoyable change of pace.  I highly recommend it. Gave me a new perspective on chocolate pie though, ugh!

 Alas, now I'm craving fried chicken. They kept making fried chicken in the movie and I can't get it out of my mind. I am in Charlotte at the moment so I may have to visit Bo-Jangles in the airport. Maybe some dirty rice and beans too. Umm, umm good.

Two more flights to work before my vacation starts. In 4 days I will be on a plane heading to Hawaii with my grandson Elliot for Sarah's wedding. What fun! I will soon have a new son-in-law, Chad, he's very handsome and extremely industrious.  In 9 days I will be boarding another aircraft heading to London then going on to Lusaka, Zambia.

What is life going to be like after all of this. I have no idea. I think it's going to change me or at least look different somehow...

Oops, enough reflection, time to go to work. Another adventure, another new day and some fried chicken on the way. Yes!

Trust, Delight, Commit, Rest, Wait Patiently

I was reading Psalm 37 this morning and a little last night. It says to trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness, Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD. Trust also in Him and He will do it. Then it says to Rest in the Lord and wait Patiently for Him. How many times have I wanted things now. I just wanted to have things "my way." My complete trust has been more in how I can get things done than in waiting and believing that God in His complete love and complete goodness will take care of all my needs.

Sometimes I think that God needs a little help from me and if I've been good enough and if He is pleased with me then maybe He will bless me. Performance driven. Yesterday Paul talked at the pier amphitheater about God's complete love for us and how we distort it to something else. Psalm 37:11 says that the humble will inherit the land ( I have wanted a home of my own and some land, so I can dig in the dirt, really dirt relaxes me, so I am claiming these promises) and will delight themselves in abundant prosperity. Verse 17 says that the LORD sustains the righteous (I am righteous because of what Jesus did for me), verse 18 says our inheritance is forever and verse 19 says that we will not be ashamed in the days of evil, and in the days of famine we will have abundance. I am placing my life on this.

Yesterday at the BBQ we ran out of food, well, we ran out of meat. Everyone was supposed to bring something but we did not all get the memo. Moi included. Joey and Kendra and maybe others ran out to get more. Then when we left, (our little group was the last to leave), we found hamburgers not eaten, 4 huge plates of donuts and cakes, a salad and dressing, a big bag of trail mix and soda and more. Cathy started giving it away to people nearby and they were more than happy. A homeless man took the soda and some other things. It was then I realized, even when we mess up, even when I don't read the memo, He still provides. We had more than enough.

So today as I travel away from my home I want to take the rest of the chapter with me. Verses 23-24, "The steps of a man are established by the LORD, and He delights in his way (wow, God delights in me!) When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the LORD is the One who holds his hand (Yay, yay, yay! He is holding my hand!) There is more, of course there is because God is so good and gracious, there is always more with Him, but I must head out to work.

                                                        Have a blessed day.